The Shite Before Christmas - Raymond Moore

THE SHITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

A filthy festive Glasgow comedy about sex, scandal, Shigella and a city that’s completely lost the plot.

Glasgow at Christmas. Same shite. Higher stakes.

It was supposed to be a perfectly ordinary Glasgow Christmas.

Then a councillor got trapped in a £2.8 million public toilet.

Then people started getting the runs.

Then things really went to shite.

As a nasty outbreak of Shigella spreads across the city, Glasgow does what Glasgow does best: jumps to conclusions, starts pointing fingers and makes an absolute fucking spectacle of itself.

There are rumours of secret sex parties. Compromising photographs. A suspicious brass fish. A catering scandal. A council determined to investigate absolutely anything except the thing that might actually be responsible.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, one unfortunate bastard is forced to take a shite beneath a railway bridge.

Welcome to Glasgow. Season’s greetings. Wash your hands.

Dr Fiona McPhee is trying to stop an outbreak before it gets worse. Councillor Douglas Balfour is trying to save his career, his marriage and what’s left of his dignity. Rab McSorley is discovering that some secrets are much harder to keep than others.

And Tam Docherty?

Tam has spotted a business opportunity.

Naturally.

As Christmas approaches, the city descends into a glorious collision of public-health panic, sexual embarrassment, political arse-covering, institutional incompetence and good old-fashioned Glaswegian bad behaviour.

But underneath the filth, the farce and the increasingly desperate attempts to blame somebody else, there’s something surprisingly human: a story about loneliness, love, shame, forgiveness and the extraordinary lengths people will go to rather than admit they’ve made a complete arse of themselves.

The Shite Before Christmas is a gloriously irreverent, darkly funny and unexpectedly touching Scottish comic novel about a city where everybody knows somebody who knows something-and none of them can keep their bloody mouths shut.

Perfect for readers who enjoy outrageous British humour, sharp political satire, wonderfully flawed characters and Christmas stories with absolutely no interest in being heartwarming in the traditional sense.

This Christmas, goodwill to all men.

And God help anyone who needs the toilet.

Contains strong language, adult humour, gastrointestinal catastrophe and scenes of extreme municipal incompetence.