The Tyranny of Shoulds - Kim Aronson

You wake up already behind. Before your feet hit the floor, the list has started. You should exercise. You should eat better. You should be further along by now. You should call your mother. You should want what everyone else seems to want.

These quiet commands run underneath almost everything. They shape your relationships, your career, your sense of who you are. Most of them were never yours to begin with. They were inherited from parents, culture, social pressure, and a world that rewards obedience more than self-awareness.

Drawing on the work of psychoanalyst Karen Horney and cognitive behavioral psychology, this book helps you recognize the should statements running your life, understand where they came from, and begin replacing them with something that actually belongs to you. Not a life without standards, but a life where the standards are chosen rather than imposed.